Caring too much about people’s opinions can eat away at your peace of mind. For many of us, it becomes a vicious cycle: we put too much emotional energy into others’ opinions, social validation, or social rejection, and we forget to listen to our own thoughts and our own feelings.
The truth is, the only way to feel grounded is to start setting boundaries and focusing on your own life.
For me, something shifted in my 40s. Slowly, I started looking more inward and caring more about my own opinions, my own ideas, and whether I was living up to my own goals.
By the first time I turned the mirror on myself instead of worrying about people’s thoughts, I realized I had been giving away far too much time to things that didn’t matter.
Now, as I am turning 43, it makes so much more sense to be fully genuine, to live as my authentic self, and to embrace the present moment.
I feel more balanced in my personal life, and being in a relationship that supports me mentally and emotionally makes it all easier.
I carry myself with high esteem, and I no longer question whether I am doing the “right things” according to others. I know myself better, and I feel like I am being born again.
The First Step to Stop Caring
The first step to stop caring is realizing that people’s opinions are just that, their opinions. People’s feelings are filtered through their own experiences, biases, and insecurities.
The best way to handle it is to simply say “thanks” and carry on. Taking offence at stupid things people say is just human nature, but it doesn’t have to control your emotional state.
Small Things That Build a Good Place Inside
I started dressing however I want, wearing cute things that can be considered childish, and doing small things that make me happy. I realized how important it is to do just that…little things that make ME happy.
These may seem like little things, but they are powerful tools for shaping a better emotional state. It is a beautiful thing to wake up and live on your own terms without waiting for some distant “trial run” of life.
Don’t save the nice shoes or perfumes. Don’t wait for the “right” event. Life itself is the occasion, and every day is special.
Leaving the Comfort Zone
The hardest thing for many people pleasers is stepping out of the comfort zone. A lot of times we choose the wrong guys, the wrong things, or we give in to a public display of social validation just to be liked.
This leads to low self-esteem and a negative emotional state. The most difficult thing is to say no, to set clear boundaries, and to stop caring about others’ opinions when they don’t align with your own journey. If it doesn’t align with your soul, leave it.
Being an Example for My Daughter
One of my biggest motivators has been family life. My daughter is 8 now, and I believe it’s so important for her to see me living fully, supported, and in touch with my authentic self.
Children naturally want to fit in, to avoid social rejection, to be welcomed. That is normal, but they don’t yet have the powerful tools to navigate different situations.
The best way to teach them isn’t just through words, but by showing them deep connections and strong personal boundaries in action. At the end of the day, they watch us more than they listen to us. And that’s why I am not only talking the talk, I’m focusing on walking that walk DAILY.
And yes, it can be tiring sometimes. Some days it may feel easier to conform, to not confront, to not stand for your own beliefs…do it tired, do it anyway.
This new generation, especially Gen Z, is so uptight about being “cringe” and terrified of cancel culture that they’ve stripped themselves of individuality altogether. They just copy each other’s mannerisms, style, and words until everyone looks and sounds exactly the same.
There’s no attitude, no sass, no punch…just endless grey clothing, the same shoes, the same Instagram captions recycled on loop. They’ve taken fitting in to a whole new level of boring.
They won’t dare to try new things because they’re so worried about people’s opinions, yet they loudly claim to be the most unbothered generation.
And the irony? By being so scared of being cringe, they became the cringiest ones of all. Teenagers will always want to fit in, that’s human nature, but come on…have a personality, have an opinion that doesn’t match the crowd, dare to wear a different pair of trainers.
I honestly hope the next generation brings back some spark, some fun, and a little excitement about life.
Solitude, Mental Health, and Peace of Mind
I spend much time on my own now, not lonely, but in solitude. I don’t suffer from FOMO and I think that is somewhat proof that I don’t care about being everywhere for everybody all the time.
I have a dear friend that used to go to every event, every party, every outing and she realised she was doing it to please others and she wasn’t just getting exhausted physically and unnecessarily spending money she shouldn’t, she was feeling drained; mentally and emotionally.
I used to talk to her relentlessly about staying still and spending time on her own and she couldn’t quite grasp the concept. I said to her many times, we are so used to tend to others, to rush to others, to be here, there and everywhere all the time we get on auto-pilot and forget to think about what we want, what brings us peace.
Especially as women, we are trained to put others first and it is exhausting, but we don’t notice until we burn out.
Recently we had another conversation and we laughed as she mentioned how she gets it now and how she craves those alone times, those moments of stillness and silence where she gets to do whatever she wants, or nothing at all and she loves it and looks forward to them.
And how those moments have helped shape her new version and to reconnect with her essence, with who she was.
Trust me this is a work in progress. The boundaries, the sitting still, the discovering of who you are and what makes your soul happy. But is worth it.
I truly believe solitude is the only way to connect with your own thoughts and understand your own essence.
When you remove the noise of social media and people’s thoughts, you create space for peace of mind and better mental health. It helps you notice your own journey, your own ideas, and your own goals without distraction.
When you truly know who you are and connect with yourself, what other people say to you have no value. Is the same as saying you have blue hair when you know your hair is black. Sounds like a silly analogy, but think about it for a moment. If someone is actively trying to offend you, but you know your truth, those attempts will be meaningless.
Be so sure of yourself that whenever someone tries to bring you down you have the courage to brush it off and walk away peacefully. For me it got to a point that I find it funny and joke about it.
Living Fully in the Present Moment
At the end of the day, the best way to stop caring what people think is to step into the present moment. Focus on your own boundaries, your own life, and your own terms.
Accept that people will always have different opinions, different ideas, and sometimes they will say the wrong things. That’s a regular occurrence and your do not have to take it as only truth.
The good things come when you choose the right people, embrace your authentic self, and learn that the control of your life has always been in your own hands.
Genuine Connections Come From Within
When you connect with your soul, you naturally vibrate on the same energy as the right people. Genuine connections happen when you allow yourself to simply be.
Caring too much about others’ opinions only forces you to build a character that isn’t true, and that kind of mask attracts people on a wavelength that is not real or sustainable.
The best way to live is to let your mask down, create healthy boundaries that protect your energy, and allow yourself to be free. When you flow as your authentic self, the right people and the right connections will always find you. That’s how your find your tribe and how they find you.
I am so much happier now that I am in tune with myself. My love life, my personal life, and my family life are all in a good place. I spend time in solitude, embrace deep connections, and choose to live on my own terms.
That is the beautiful thing about becoming your authentic self: you stop caring about the wrong things and you finally start living fully, in the first place, for you.
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