Happy New Year! Porch Cats rule!

There's nothing like a warm Linksys router to lay your head on in the dark, cold, cloudy days of winter.

Now that spring is here and the bunnies are hopping, our sweet Mabel brought home her first rabbit of the season. Our non-existent garden remains protected. Unfortunately, I was not able to see Mabel in action since I was attending Joe Bageant’s superb performance in Philadelphia (of which I will have more to say later on; if you get the chance to see Bageant in action, don’t miss it-or at least preorder the book ).

To prove that our kitty is a proper steward of the environment, I’ve taken a photo of what Mabel left. As you can see, the rabbit’s feet, the head, everything but the non-edible portions of the animal were turned into energy that will later be used to protect the gardens and grain bins of America.

Damn that cat! I could have used a rabbit’s foot about now.

Our friend Andrea has, for reasons unknown (maybe it’s herpotology or some variation thereof that we hear from our blogowner is down there), decided to move down to Wilmington, NC. This is Fiona, an adoptee (Andrea has been taking in lost pets from anywhere and everywhere, including New Orleans, often renuniting them with their owners).
Fiona is, supposedly, of her own accord, wrapped up for moving. Andrea is a Howard Dean, died in the wool, Democrat. Let’s hope the cat is as smart.

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I was going to title this one, but decided that it’s best left to the imagination. Two choices that came to my mind were “The Lion lays down with the Lamb” and the other was “Praying before Breakfast”. Take your pick or choose another.

Our kitty is certainly in a Bad Attitude mood for Easter. This picture was taken freshly this morning. Once again, our garden is safe. No easter eggs for us!

Eat your heart out, Bill O'Reilly!

Our sweet darlings, Mabel and Samantha, had their annual checkups this week. The vet comes to our house, we don’t dare try to manuever Mabel. Unfortunately, we have learned Mabel has cat tapeworms, no doubt due to her affection for mice, rabbits, grouse, and moles. Therefore, there will be no pictures of our sweet darlings this week. I have three pills that Mabel must take, but this is a conundrum. Mabel resists and I dare not become the rabbit. Therefore, this instructional chart must do.

I may die in the next week, or be seriously scratched, but we will get through this. Bear with us.

We have no children. I can do this better than I could do diapers. My sympathies to all you real parents.

Our sweet Mabel has been getting edgy. It seems that she caught a glimpse of Martha Bridegam’s cat Edgie and she is quite concerned that she might not be considered the meanest cat on the blogs anymore. Not to worry. Mabel proved herself this week after our hiatus, displaying once again her resolve to protect our non existent garden. Mabel says “eat your heart out Edgie, cats in the suburbs have the upper paw” over those in the city. On the other hand, we don’t know what to do about this. We haven’t taught her to read yet.

I regret to inform the regular Friday cat crowd that our two felines are ON STRIKE. This is most unfortunate, but they do have unreasonable demands. They want a living wage (mousetraps are cheaper). They want cat health insurance (too expensive). They say NO to Wal-Mart catfood (it’s cheaper). They want a vacation (we still haven't gotten rid of the mice — NO WAY!!). They want holidays off, Mehitabel’s birthday (no way the're getting that). Finally, they want a pension (no way after the buyout bankrupted the company). These darn pesky cats are just too unreasonable. Therefore, we offer this picture of what life used to be like before Ronald Reagan killed off the unreasonable crowd (excepting our cats, who were born after the sorry, no good, average American hating bastard was out of office). The biggest problem we face is how to get these pesky cats to watch television. They’re so uncooperative!!!!! Maybe we can hire them out to give lessons (but don’t tell our competitors).

Geez, everybody is going to hate my cat. Eat your heart out Barney!