June 20, 2013
Who Cares About Immigration Reform?

Who cares about immigration reform? Who really gives a rat’s ass? It’s a silly, meaningless issue, like gay marriage, that just gives our wise lawmakers an excuse to huff and puff and pretend they’re doing something important when they’re not. Let’s all get our panties in a wad over some trivial side show and ignore the things that really matter. Climate change? Ignore. Banana republic levels of inequality? Ignore. Ongoing recession, sustained high unemployment? Ignore.

So what’s a politician to do?

I know, immigration reform!

If you gave amnesty to every Mexican in the country and built a fuckin’ wall to keep the rest out, how would our country be substantively improved? How? The Mexican dishwasher who lives with ten other people in some shithole down the street does not affect your life in any way. Call in immigration, haul him away, send him back to Oaxaca. Then, wake up on that glorious morning after immigration reform has passed, when the Ezra Kleins of this world are soiling themselves over what a marvelous legislative achievement it was, and discover that absolutely nothing has changed. Nothing. Nothing. The same wind blows and the same grass grows, and your life is still in the same stagnant place that is was back in the pre-immigration reform dark ages. Why is that?

Hint: It’s not the Mexican’s fault. The author of your woe, more likely than not, is a lily-white MBA who is only doing what his beloved market demands.


Posted by OHollern at June 20, 2013 05:31 PM
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I do.

Posted by: Albaz on June 22, 2013 2:13 AM

But then I actually can walk and chew on an Altoid at the same time! It is my special superpower!

Posted by: Albaz on June 22, 2013 2:14 AM
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