February 16, 2013
The Man Who Taught His Ass to Talk

I came to this via Democratic Underground, which led me to the an archived website called Moondog Madness, which contained a remarkably prophetic political analysis from the late beat novelist William Burroughs. For the gentle reader I have left out certain parts of his essay, but enough remains to explain just what the hell has happened to your father’s Republican Party anyway. The unabridged version is here.

Did I ever tell you about the man who taught his ass to talk? …After a while the ass start talking on its own.…the asshole would eat its way through his pants and start talking on the street, shouting out it wanted equal rights. It would get drunk, too, and have crying jags nobody loved it and it wanted to be kissed same as any other mouth. Finally it talked all the time day and night, you could hear him for blocks screaming at it to shut up, and beating it with his fist, and sticking candles up it, but nothing did any good and the asshole said to him: ‘It’s you who will shut up in the end. Not me. Because we don’t need you around here any more. I can talk and eat AND shit.’

…One thing the asshole COULDN’T do was see. It needed the eyes. But nerve connections were blocked and infiltrated and atrophied so the brain couldn’t give orders any more. It was trapped in the skull, sealed off. For a while you could see the silent, helpless suffering of the brain behind the eyes, then finally the brain must have died, because the eyes WENT OUT, and there was no more feeling in them than a crab’s eyes on the end of a stalk.



Posted by Jerome Doolittle at February 16, 2013 04:20 PM
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