October 02, 2012
Martians for Romney

Interviewer: So, how’s your visit going?

Martian: Cool. Love your planet.

Int: And you’re campaigning for Romney?

Mar: Yeah, Martians love Romney.

Int: What is it you like about him?

Mar: We love that he’s rich. And he says funny things.

Int: How so?

Mar. Just funny, man. When he told the Brits they probably couldn’t pull off the Olympics — that was a gasser. And how about insulting forty-seven percent of all American voters? That was fall-down-on-the-floor funny. The man ought to be on Comedy Central.

Int: If you say so. I see you’ve been doing some shopping.

Mar: Yeah, this is a great planet for shopping.

Int: Looks like you’ve got some hats in that tote bag.

Mar: That’s right. I needed some sun hats for my heads. Not much shade back home. So I thought, why not Romney hats? Talk though your hat. Isn’t that the expression?

Int: Not exactly, but I see the hats say, “Have a Nice Day.” What’s that got to do with Romney?

Mar: “Have a Nice Day”— that’s the Romney campaign platform…


aRomney_On_Mars.jpg

Mar: “Have a Nice Day” is a great message. It captures Romney’s philosophy of government, the way he solves problems. It would go over great on Mars.

Int: But down here, we like things a little more — I don’t know — pointed.

Mar: What’s the point of pointed?

Int: Never mind. What do Martians for Romney think of Obama?

Mar: Bad news.

Int: Meaning?

Mar: He’s a commie.

Int: Anything else?

Mar: He wasn’t born in the U.S. He was born on Mars.
Int: Obama’s a Martian?

Mar: You got it.

Int: How many Martians are there?

Mar: Twelve. Well, eleven since we got rid of Obama.

Int: You threw him out?

Mar: Yeah. Martians hate big government. Also, didn’t like his looks. Also, he’s a Muslim.

Int: What wrong with his looks?

Mar: He’s odd-looking. Got a weird color and only one head.

Int: You’re a little odd-looking yourself, if you ask me.

Mar: Yeah, but nobody asked you.

Int: Did the other Martians come with you?

Mar: Just my other half. Most Martians hate politics.

Int: I noticed that half of you was missing.

Mar: Yeah, she went to Wal-Mart. Loves the prices.

Int: Is your other half also a Martian for Romney?

Mar: Damn straight. She thinks he’s handsome. And she loves that he has a speedboat.

Int: Those are good reasons.

Mar: You bet. Listen, gotta run. Meeting the other half at a Have a Nice Day rally. Don’t want to be late. Maybe Romney will actually say something. You never know, right?

Int: Right.

Webding3.jpg

Posted by Paul Duffy at October 02, 2012 03:20 PM
Email this entry to:


Your email address:


Message (optional):


Comments
Post a comment
Name:


Email Address:


URL:


Comments:


Remember info?