Wait, how did you know I was talking about Romney? You did, right? Of course you did. Anyway, this is from a story back in January that catches Mitt’s warm and fuzzy side:
CRAIG ROMNEY: Thank you. You know, it’s a privilege to be out here on the campaign trail with my dad, to be back in Iowa. Again, it’s really a pleasure to be out here. I want to tell you a quick story about my dad that you probably haven’t heard before. My dad is a very competitive guy. And he’s relentless. And we have this little tradition in our family where we do a family triathlon every year. So, we do a short little swim and a bike race and a run at the end. And my wife had just had a baby, she just had our second child a couple, about a month or two previously. And she decides to go for it and compete in the race. So, all the boys have finished at this point. And it was down to my wife and my dad over here.He trips his daughter-in-law in order to win a race. Let that sink in for a moment. This is a grown man. Note that his son told this story in an effort to humanize him. The Romneys apparently think this is an appealing anecdote.
ROMNEY: I tripped her.
CRAIG ROMNEY: And it was kind of in the home stretch in the run there. And she had a slight lead on him. And he said that in that moment, he decided he was going to win that race or he was going to die trying. And you see this fight to the finish, and he went for this — he gave it everything he had. He gave it a good kick and he beat her in the end. And he did almost die trying, by the way.
I think we should all extend a heartfelt thanks to Mitt Romney. He just might save the country. He has shown us the wart infested soul of the American plutocracy in all of its narrowness, its greed, its self-satisfaction and shallowness. He has given us a clear view of how the one percent thinks. We have clearly seen the enemy, and the people, I think, are responding with appropriate disgust. Forget the national polls that say this thing is neck and neck. That’s just the media trying to make this a horse race. It ain’t. I think this election is going to be a landslide. (At least I hope it’s a landslide. It’s not enough for Romney to lose. He must be thoroughly and humiliatingly crushed. Romneyism must be utterly repudiated in a clear and unambiguous way. There must be no doubt.)
So we should all be grateful that Mitt Romney is such a thoroughoing douchbag. He’s unwittingly performed a valuable service to the Republic. Thanks to Romney, we now know beyond any reasonable doubt that our elites are not elite at all. They are moral pygmies with a stunted vision of life. They think of us as serfs or worse. Mitt Romney is the smoking gun evidence. So is the wretched state of world they control. All their talk about tax cuts and trickle down and job creation and economic growth is just bollocks. All they want, as Master Carlin pointed out in one of his last performances, is more for themselves and less for you. Period. That’s it. That’s all.
And Queen Ann ain’t much better. She’s looking colder and meaner and more arrogant by the day. This is from the Washington Post:
At the convention, they could be seen bickering outside exclusive donor powwows (“Don’t be upset,” Georgette pleaded with Lyn outside a brunch organized by billionaire Paul Singer. “It was an honest mistake.”) or giddily relaying how Ann Romney, for whom Georgette has served on the host committee for several fundraisers in New York, privately reacted to Democratic attacks on her dressage-competing mare. (“My horse has more style and more class in its hoof than they do in their whole deal,” Lyn recounts.)Take that, you people! This is a woman, by the way, who thinks that living off of Mitt’s stocks while they were in college was roughing it.
So, yeah, I’ll just say it: Hey Mitt, thanks for being you.