Amid the high drama of the Supreme Court’s deliberations last week, you may have missed the low farce that played out down in Texas. The Republicans of that state introduced their official party platform for 2012, and boy is it a doozy, a steaming pile of every retrograde right-wing fetish under the sun, all rolled up in a single document that leaves you scratching your head and wondering if the Civil War was worth fighting after all.
This is my favorite part, which can be found under the heading “Educating Our Children.” This is not a joke:
Knowledge-Based Education Ė We oppose the teaching of Higher Order Thinking Skills (HOTS) (values clarification), critical thinking skills and similar programs that are simply a relabeling of Outcome-Based Education (OBE) (mastery learning) which focus on behavior modification and have the purpose of challenging the studentís fixed beliefs and undermining parental authority.
Too bad Texas isn’t in play. It would be priceless to hear Romney have to go down there and pander to the wingers by saying things like this: “Of course I oppose critical thinking. I’ve always opposed it. So does Ann. So does Tagg … And we don’t believe kids should have their fixed beliefs challenged either. Just look at Craig and Tagg and Josh and (?) and (?), do they look like their fixed beliefs have ever been challenged? Do I? Does any Romney?”
If you have a few spare moments, you should peruse the entire document. It’s a goofball fascist’s wet dream, a monument to American right-wing lunacy: abolish the EPA, overturn the Voting Rights Act, dispel the myth of the separation between church and state by returning to the “original intent” of the First Amendment (whatever the hell that might mean), and make “American English” the official language of the country.
Yeah, that’s right, American English. Looks like those of you who wanted expressions like “beastly,” “wanker,” “duffer,” and “on the piss” inserted into official American documents are shit out of luck. It ain’t gonna happen in Texas, anyway. From now on it’s Murican English only.