June 07, 2012
Father Knows Best

Going through old files yesterday I came across a 1990 letter I had evidently written to someone at the Planned Parenthood Federation of America who had asked for advice on a speech. I’d give the same advice today, substituting only Rick Santorum for the late, despicable Jesse Helms of North Carolina (below).

The real issue isn’t stopping sex. Even Helms knows that can’t be done. The real issue is making sex costly and painful for women — although not, of course, for men. If the real purpose of all this legislation and legal effort is indeed to cut down on teenage sex, then I have a suggestion for Mr. Helms. I will join him in support of it, in fact. In all cases of pregnancy outside of marriage the Federal government should carry out mandatory DNA testing to determine the biological father. The Internal Revenue Service would then withhold child support payments from his salary until the child reaches the age of 21. Simple. No problem. This would be the most successful population control program since the Black Plague…

Incidentally, I did a lot of research some years back on the settling of the Pacific Northwest in the years between 1848, roughly, and the 1880s. One of the things that fuels the Reagan world-view is ignorance of history. It might be useful to point out that in those days, teenage sexuality wasn’t much of a problem. Parents virtually (and often literally) sold their daughters into marriage with middle-aged widowers when the girls were 13 and 14. A single girl of 17 was considered an old maid.

The only occupations easily open to single women were teaching, taking in laundry, sewing, and prostitution. Every tiny town had its red-light district, where divorced and abandoned women wound up. Orphaned children were taken in by kindly farmers who worked them half to death, often beating and abusing them, until the kid (if male) got to be big enough to whip the old son of a bitch and run away. These were the true good old days, and any number of histories will give you examples.…

Parental notification for teens is, very openly, a control issue. The state attempts to bring the wayward girl back under Daddy’s control. The essential battle is already lost, of course, since the girl is plainly no longer a virgin. But at least she can be punished. The state can make her undergo birth and the loss of her child to others, or birth and a life sentence of struggling all alone to support that child…

The reason a girl doesn’t tell her parents she’s pregnant is precisely because they have already proven themselves incapable of dealing with the human and universal issues of sexuality. Under the proposed legislation the state would force them into that very area where they have already shown themselves to be awkward, ashamed, incapable, and incompetent.



Posted by Jerome Doolittle at June 07, 2012 12:20 PM
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