June 27, 2011
Show Us Your Birth Certificate, Michele

This is from a speech by native-born Iowan Michele Bachmann, announcing in Iowa her candidacy for president of Iowa and the other 49 states, none of which can hold a candle to Iowa, poor things.

My late father-in-law was also from Waterloo, although he was too modest to boast of it outside the family. His were the instinctive good manners of the American peasant, and he would never have lorded it over those unfortunate enough to have been born in states without caucuses. “T’warn’t no big thing being born in Iowa,” he would say to us young’uns. “Ma done the hard part.”

But enough of my own deep roots in Waterloo. Here’s Congresswoman Bachmann:

It’s great to be in Iowa and even better to be in Waterloo where I was born. It’s fitting to be here at the Snowden House, the place that once served as the home of the Waterloo Women’s Club. I stand here today in front of many friends and family to formally announce my candidacy for President of the United States…

I often say that everything I needed to know I learned in Iowa. It was at Hawthorne and Valley Park Elementary Schools and my home, both a short distance from here, where those Iowan roots were firmly planted. It’s those roots and my faith in God that guide me today. I’m a descendant of generations of Iowans. I know what it means to be from Iowa — what we value and what’s important. Those are the values that helped make Iowa the breadbasket of the world and those are the values, the best of all of us that we must recapture to secure the promise of the future.

Below is footage of Congresswoman Bachmann groping George W. Bush as he flees her advances like a Guinean housekeeper in the Hotel Sofitel. Bush himself was born in Greenwich, Connecticut, although he never gives speeches about it. It’s like he was ashamed or something.


Posted by Jerome Doolittle at June 27, 2011 04:15 PM
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W did it to Angela Merkel, why shouldn't Michele Bachmann do it to W? Fair's fair.

Posted by: Fast Eddie on July 1, 2011 12:13 PM

Entirely different cases. Merkel is a non-idiot female, and W is an idiot male. Both W and Bachmann are idiots. For the cases to be fair and balanced, Merkel would have to grope Obama.

Or W would have to grope Bachmann. What if they went on to give free rein to their animal passion, and had a baby together? The mind reels at the prospect. The kid would be a shoo-in for the 2052 Republican nominee.

Posted by: Aitch Jay on July 1, 2011 2:27 PM
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