June 04, 2011
Listen, My Children, and You Shall Hear...

Sarah Palin had this to say on the subject of Paul Revere:

He who warned, uh, the ... British that they weren’t going to be taking away our arms, uh, by ringing those bells and making sure as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be secure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed.

First, the quibbling: If Revere had been "riding his horse through town," he wouldn't have accomplished a damn thing since the British were heading across the countryside to arrest John Hancock and Samuel Adams in Concord. I can't help thinking that if you're gonna dabble in Patriot Porn, you shouldn't pass up a chance to drop the names of three major figures into the conversation with no context whatsoever. On the other hand, even knowing of a connection between Revere, Hancock and Adams would constitute being a big fat smartypants showoff to Palin's fan base. Ignorance is not merely bliss - it's mandatory.

But here's what really pisses me off: Paul Revere's ride had already been distilled down to its simplest possible terms. It was already shorthand. It was already a cartoon. It doesn't require an explanation of any kind. And Palin doesn't know even that.

It's as if she was trying to explain what Bugs Bunny looks like, but doing so by describing Daffy Duck.

Posted by Kurt Weldon at June 04, 2011 12:31 PM
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If she can do this to Paul Revere I hope she never gets started on Shays' Rebellion.

Seriously, she knows the Paul Revere story is already well and simply told in its traditional form. She's just pretending that the people of Massachusetts don't understand the story properly, hence that it takes a visitor from Wingnuttia like herself, using unaccustomed words, to explain its true significance.

Except she gets lost along the way because, unlike Henry Wadsworth goddamn Longfellow, she has no patience with the written word. She lacks interest in the informational content of words despite plenty of interest in their emotional content. Written words, unlike spoken ones, can't be bullied or manipulated into obeying her. They have to be written one by one. So writing is a chore she pays little people to do. In her mental universe, people aren't meant to transcribe what she says. They're meant to become transfixed by her basilisk glare and remember little afterwards except a strong guilty compulsion to do whatever it was she wanted.

Posted by: Martha Bridegam on June 7, 2011 12:16 AM

I wish she would stay the hell out of Massachusetts!

Posted by: George on June 7, 2011 1:56 PM

I don't care what all you socialists say. I still think she's hotter than a two-dollar pistol on the Fourth of July.

Posted by: Jerry Doolittle on June 7, 2011 2:54 PM

Word Salad Annie ©

Posted by: Jim H. on June 7, 2011 3:45 PM
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