This tale of young love reminds me of a huge, bulbous, slovenly kid I saw in a fast food joint in Folkston, Georgia, a few years back, his torso barely contained by an XXL tee shirt that said, “True Love Waits.” When the kid’s huge, bulbous, slovenly girl friend came out of the ladies room I could see his point.

True Love Waits is a contract that you have with, like, “God” and the community or something. It is a vow that you will not have sex until you’re married. The church-going kids would bring the contracts to school and teachers would pass them out during class, encouraging us to sign. Afterward, the names of kids who signed would run in the town’s newspaper. Which also printed the names of everyone who’d been arrested that day and for what…