Andrew W. resumes Church Basements, his tales from the world of Alcoholics Anonymous:
Still not here. Tom’s gone from the rooms of Alcoholic Anonymous . With not a word to anyone, Tom, who attended at least a meeting a day, shared often and achieved a few years sobriety, slipped away.
“Anyone seen Tom,” I asked after a meeting. One person said they heard he had a new job and had moved. Not likely, I thought, He’s a stalwart local.
Jeff said, “He’s out there, no one knows where.”
“Out there” means relapse, as in he’s out there drinking again. Where is “there.” They say in church basements it’s either jail, hospital or the morgue. I wouldn’t have believed it of Tom, he seemed so solid. He was always bright, open, chipper and very funny.
Slips are so sudden. You’re walking along not a care in the world then, BAM, you slip and fall. Newcomers to the rooms of Alcoholic Anonymous are brought face to face with the reality that no matter the quality or length of a person’s recovery, nothing can be taken for granted when dealing with addiction.
That, after all, was why Tom went to meetings every day. He did not trust that his alcoholism was past simply because, for all the world, he felt well and normal.
The possible causes are laid out in the literature. The Big Book, AA’s Bible, speaks of minute changes in a person’s well being status caused by failure to grow spiritually, by harming others, or by harboring resentments.
All of which are vague. The authors might as well have said they don’t know what causes relapse. So the lesson of Tom’s disappearance is that slips are mysterious and baffling. That is not to say that AA doesn’t work. It does, and church basements are full of millions sober one day at a time to prove it.
For Tom, there may still be success. Frequently serial relapsers at last stop for good. Tom always said “I know I have another drunk, but not another recovery.” Tom proved himself wrong time after time.
Hurry back , Tom.
