April 20, 2010
This Just In, from Georgia…

…where it is no longer legal to hold you down and insert a microchip in your head:

In Gov. Roy Barnes’ stump speech, the bill has become a routine example of the Republican tendency to attack problems that don’t exist, and ignore the ones that do. Besides, Barnes argues, if someone holds him down to insert a microchip in his head, “it should be more than a damned misdemeanor.”

Three states have instituted bans, and others have considered the legislation. In Virginia, a bill supporter declared microchips to be the “666” mark of the beast referred to in the Book of Revelation…

At the House hearing, state Rep. Ed Setzler (R-Kennesaw), who is shouldering the legislation in the House, spoke earnestly for better than a half hour on microchips as a literal invasion of privacy.

He was followed by a hefty woman who described herself as a resident of DeKalb County. “I’m also one of the people in Georgia who has a microchip,” the woman said. Slowly, she began to lead the assembled lawmakers down a path they didn’t want to take.

Microchips, the woman began, “infringe on issues that are fundamental to our very existence. Our rights to privacy, our rights to bodily integrity, the right to say no to foreign objects being put in our body.”

She spoke of the “right to work without being tortured by co-workers who are activating these microchips by using their cell phones and other electronic devices.”

She continued. “Microchips are like little beepers. Just imagine, if you will, having a beeper in your rectum or genital area, the most sensitive area of your body. And your beeper numbers displayed on billboards throughout the city. All done without your permission,” she said.

It was not funny, and no one laughed.

“Ma’am, did you say you have a microchip?” asked state Rep. Tom Weldon (R-Ringgold).

“Yes, I do. This microchip was put in my vaginal-rectum area,” she replied. Setzler, the sponsoring lawmaker, sat next to the witness — his head bowed.

“You’re saying this was involuntary?” Weldon continued. The woman said she had been pushing a court case through the system for the last eight years to have the device removed.

Wendell Willard (R-Atlanta), chairman of the House Judiciary Committee, picked up the questioning. “Who implanted this in you?” he asked.

“Researchers with the federal government,” she said.

“And who in the federal government implanted it?” Willard asked.

“The Department of Defense.”

“Thank you, ma’am.”

The woman was allowed to go about her business, and the House Judiciary Committee approved passage of SB 235.



Posted by Jerome Doolittle at April 20, 2010 01:12 PM
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My brother in law while doing his residency was working in a certain ward of a hospital with a new patient. The patient was certain that the Russians had been trying to track him and eventually capture him for many years and my brother in law had to tell the patient the awful news about my brother in law's last name. When my bother in law's grandfather came through Ellis Island, before my brother in law was born, the family name was forever changed to that of a large Russian city that is known throughout the world. My brother in law thus had to inform the desperate patient that indeed the Russians had finally gotten the patient into their care. The name of course proved that the patients nightmare was indeed a reality. I presume the patient recovered when he realized that there was no escape from the prison that he had made for himself, courtesy of McCarthy era politics.

I do understand from your post though, that tinfoil hats will not solve this problem at all, in fact tinfoil is likely to serve as an antennae broadcasting the information contained in the microchip much farther than it would otherwise. Likewise tin foil under garments would likely create the same problem serving as both a receiving and a transmitting amplifier for the chip. However, all is not lost. The numerous instances of hacking that Microsoft and Intel chips are subject to makes it likely that the information received or transmitted will end up garbled and thus serve no purpose for the government in the long run. I suggest that this fine lady should spend a good bit of time operating her Windows based computer while surfing facebook links. Recent reports have indicated that this method is much more likely to transmit a virus than even Russian porn sites. A virus will surely end up ruining the Microchip (almost certainly Microsoft based) as a Windows based interface is almost certainly implanted in the device, thus all the the lady needs to do is spend time near the computers at the public library immediately after the high school has been let out and facebook becomes overwhelming for the chip, thereby destroying the government's huge investment in the implanted chip.

If anyone has a better solution to the problem at hand, please post it here. Curious minds want to know what the ultimate solution to this problem is. As for myself, should I ever need a new hip or knee or organ, I would hope that the manufacturers information would be implanted into the device thereby insuring that when a recall was issued I would be certain to be immediately informed about what I might need to do. And of course, if you want to make sure you can find your pet should it become lost, don't hesitate to have a Microchip implanted into the animal as this is the best way to insure a more likely recovery of the animal and its reunion with the owner.

Perhaps the Republicans will figure this out one day but until then, I can assure the public that they are safe from harm as only the Democrats can competently run government, as every Republican I know is convinced that their standard bearers cannot run government at all, much less well.

Posted by: Buck on April 20, 2010 5:54 PM

We can laugh, now, but when the government decides it's time to plant microchips in our rectums we may not find it so funny.

I've said unkind things about Joe Lieberman in the past, but he's got the independent spirit we need if we want protective legislation on this.

Posted by: Jim on April 20, 2010 10:15 PM
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