July 31, 2008
Botox for Boys

In my rugby days, I played second row. This meant that in the scrums my ears were ground from both sides by the hips of teammates wearing canvas shorts. To avoid cauliflower ears, most of us wore protective gear that looked something like ear muffs.

Which is to say that we were marginally more intelligent than these total morons:

Unfazed by the prospect of living life as a walking what’s-grosser-than-gross joke, a nationwide corps of professional fighters, amateur enthusiasts and teenagers have taken to leaving their ears untreated or self-treated, wearing their shriveled, hardened waxen auricles as badges of honor.

“It’s definitely part of the culture,” said Dr. John H. Park, a physical therapist in Rockville, Md., who specializes in treating M.M.A. participants. “They say, ‘Chicks dig that stuff because they know you’re a fighter.’”

…As a signature injury, cauliflower ear stands alone in one illuminating respect. Although most athletes tend to err on the side of overtreatment, or at least treatment, fighters develop cauliflower ear by avoiding medical care.



Posted by Jerome Doolittle at July 31, 2008 09:03 AM
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Niki Lauda, racing driver and former multiple Formula 1 world champion, took a different but no less effective approach.

To develop cauliflower ears by fighting is a real nuisance, and some of us just don't have the patience for it.

Why not use a blowtorch on your ears (or let a friend do it for you) to become an INSTANT FIGHTER no chick will be able to resist!



Posted by: Peter on July 31, 2008 1:15 PM
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