Muhammed Cohen expostulates wittily on on McCain's possible VP choices, considering Rice, Powell, Romney, Huckabee, and several others.

The Democrats are almost certain to field either a female or a black candidate; so the Republicans need to keep up with the Joneses (Veblen’s urge to emulation). Cohen considers the positives and negatives of the people John McCain is probably considering. For instance, the governor of Alaska, popular for anti-corruption stances, would be an excellent pick, but pregnancy means she’s unlikely to be interested in spending every waking hour on the campaign trail.

One of the most interesting possibilities is Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal, 36, a Roman Catholic son of Punjabi immigrants, who has apparently become a Limbaugh favorite. Cohen recommends him.

In the end, though, Muhammed Cohen figures there’s one choice who comes closest to being everything the Republican party wants.

Is there a black man out there who would firm up McCain’s right flank, get love from the Republican establishment, and, unlike Rice, at least potentially appeal to African-Americans? Yes, and he’s been hiding in plain sight since 1991.

At its heart, the vice presidential choice is a cynical, craven appeal to voters. On one hand, the vice presidential nominee is supposed to be ready for the presidency, and voters can even prefer the running mate to headliner. But the presidential nominee absolutely, positively doesn’t want the vice president to become president. The Clintons raised the cynical art form to a new low in recent days with their suggestions of Democratic frontrunner Barack Obama as Hillary Clinton’s running mate while questioning his fitness for the top job.

But when it comes to cynicism in politics featuring race, one name should leap to mind: Clarence Thomas. …

[…]

…the most cynical part of putting Thomas on the ticket is perhaps the most appealing to Republican grandees. As a sitting Supreme Court Justice, appointed for life and virtually untouchable, Thomas would have to be nuts to trade that job for the vice presidency. But that doesn’t mean he can’t run for the office while keeping his Supreme Court seat. It’s possible that he could serve as vice president and a Supreme Court justice at the same time, but the simpler solution would be to resign as vice president if he’s elected.

Trent Lott won re-election to a six-year term as Mississippi senator, but resigned a year later to become a lobbyist. Thomas would simply be setting the clock further ahead. Thomas’ resignation in November would let McCain pick from a large field of Republican worthies likely to be out of work after the November vote. A pitcher of spit that’s a heartbeat from the presidency looks pretty good if you’re unemployed.

Naw, they wouldn’t stoop to that…