June 23, 2006
Fluffernutter Madness

I’ll admit I was happy to hear that they were pulling the soda machines out of schools. After all, we didn’t have those when I was a kid and it sure didn’t seem fair that kids should have amenities that I didn’t when I was a child. However, something has come to my attention that just riles my blood. I do admit I’ve never had a Fluffernutter sandwich but it sure seems wrong to outlaw something that’s been around since the great depression, namely the Fluffernutter sandwich. I mean seriously folks, what’s next? The peanut butter and jelly sandwich? The marshmallow and wienie roasts that I enjoyed as a child? And what about my plans for a big wienie roast in Washington? There are loads of wienies in Washington and I had big plans for that project. If the food police keep this up, we’re all toast and we’ll never make it to the big Washington Wienie Roast I had planned. It was going to be a great project. After all, there are more wienies in Washington right now than were made in Topeka in the last 100 years.

By the way, sorry for my long delayed return. I’m finally back to bring you stories that rival the great crises of this country that the mainstream media lets us know about every day.

..and one more thing. Just the mention of a Fluff Whoopie Pie gets my juices flowing. That sounds like something I could enjoy all day long.



Posted by Buck Batard at June 23, 2006 08:06 AM
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Honestly, I can't imagine what people ate *before* the 1920s.
But to roast wienies, I ask you! You can't be serious! You might as well roast frankfurters!

Posted by: Peter on June 23, 2006 8:44 AM

Welcome back Buck. Wondered where you'd been, but didn't ask because it was none of my business.

Posted by: spiiderweb on June 23, 2006 8:47 AM

I'll have to admit, I haven't kept up with Felix's family, but his relatives weren't on my list of wienies, unless they've become Republicans. If not, they're welcome to bring a coathanger and join in on the fun. Karl the wienie will be slow roasted.

..and thanks for the welcome back. I've just been imitating my cat; lounging around accomplishing nothing.

Posted by: Buck on June 23, 2006 8:49 AM

Buck said:

"I've just been imitating my cat; lounging around accomplishing nothing."

And that is the secret of life, just ask any cat.

Posted by: m on June 23, 2006 1:30 PM

I just googled fluffernutter sandwiches. My sweet lord: that's enough to cause whole schools of dieticians to fall on their swords. Like the infamous Springfield, Illinois, horseshoe (which is made of white toast topped by a hamburger, or something, then covered by french fries, and then topped with cheese saurce) it looks to be able to close at least small arteries during a single meal.

Speaking of cats, my Jolene says she's cuter than Mabel and why isn't she on the Web? I told her I'd see what I could do about it. Then she asked why she didn't get canned food twice a day instead of that high-priced kibble that is allegedly good for her (and that rationed too, in her opinion).

I told her it was for her own good. I don't think she believed me. And, trust me, she's not getting fluffernutters -- or a horseshoe.

Posted by: Lucy from the House of Joy & Truckstop on June 24, 2006 1:20 AM

Lucy, send us pictures of your cat. My email is buckpa at comcast dot net. Anybody else that reads this far can do the same. I won't promise to publish them, Mabel gets mighty jealous and she's got hellacious claws (but doesn't seem to use them on people, at least yet). Others please do the same. I think Mabel is tired of posing and we need cat pictures.

....and try a Philly Cheese Steak for real artery health. I'm told by my friends in Philly that the best one is made at Abners. Forget that asshole named Geno. I'm told he caters to the tourist crowd anyway and that his cheese steaks aren't the real thing.

If you have concerns about your arteries, some of the Christian channels are hawking all kinds of remedies such as colon cleansers. It seems religion is losing its appeal and they are having to resort to selling the equivalent of snake oil. If that kind of snake oil doesn't appeal to you, just double up on your Lipitor.

Posted by: Buck on June 24, 2006 5:56 AM

Pictures will be arriving. Now the felines are whining about who's the prettiest (or most handsome in the case of Jones and Pudding) and should be featured. I told Jolene she goes first.

I've had a Philly steak. Our horseshoe beats it hands down. Cheezwhiz on french fries and a greasy burger (purists say they make the cheese sauce from cheddar, but I don't believe it would melt quite the same way)? There must be a several hundred grams of fat in the mess.

Right now my spam is running heavily toward Christian dating. Uh, I don't think so.

And the doc already doubled my Lipitor the last time I saw her. (That's without benefit of Philly steaks *or* horseshoes.)

Posted by: Lucy from the HOJ&TS on June 24, 2006 3:22 PM
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